Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
