I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
