when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
