The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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