New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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