I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
tell me about the fingering
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
