i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
