be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
