Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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