I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I should be sponsored by Trojan
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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