But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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