out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
