So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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