I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
