That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
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She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
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I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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