u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She told me I should be a condom model.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize