There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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