Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
