I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
