i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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