lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize