I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize