I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
