a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
My feet surprised me
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
