umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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