508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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