I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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