Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
