eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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