I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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