she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Randomize
