so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Randomize
