I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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