So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
