just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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