I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
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literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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