there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize