Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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