i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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