I wish you could order shots online.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
