help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
