I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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