i just made my gag reflex go away.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
