i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.