He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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