i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
