I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
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