i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Watching her eat just hurts me
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
