he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
operation harelip BJ is a go
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
