I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
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So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
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he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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