life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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