it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
