Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
