I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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