Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
It's blow job season.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
